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The Discordian Betrothal for iris efflux and Spiral Lobster

Troth is an archaic word for faith and loyalty, and this was a ceremony for us to state our faith and loyalty in each other publically. It was performed in the World's Fair Park, Knoxville TN, by Fibonacci Butterfly and Asymmetric Biscuit, with Michelle as a witness.

Dramatis Personae

The Trothers: iris efflux and Spiral Lobster.
The Cynic: Asymmetric Biscuit
The Romantic: Fibonacci Butterfly

Where the ceremony lists [Acceptance] the trothers reply:

"I'll do my best"
"I hope so"
"That's my wish"

or some such positive acceptance of the previous line.

Where the ceremony lists [Admittance] the trothers reply:

"I don't doubt it"
"It seems likely"
"I guess so"

or some such confessional acceptance of the previous line. The Ceremony

  1. Romantic: We are gathered together in the sight of Eris and anything else that might be watching to witness this declaration of love between ie and SL.
  2. Cynic: Is this such a good idea?
  3. Trothers: I love SL/ie and I want to declare that love.

  4. Romantic: And will you stay with each other as long as you are still in love?
  5. Trothers: [Acceptance]

  6. Cynic: Are you sure you want to do this? It's hard work and very time consuming - and you have to give up a lot of yourself.
  7. Trothers: I value my love for ie/SL and he/she/it is worth it to me.

  8. Romantic: Will you support your lover through the hard times, be a shoulder to cry on and arms to hold them?
  9. Trothers: [Acceptance]

  10. Cynic: Will you fight about stupid things and get upset sometimes for apparently no good reason?
  11. Trothers: [Admittance]

  12. Romantic: Will you declare your love for each other often enough that you never have cause to doubt it?
  13. Trothers: [Acceptance]

  14. Cynic: Will you say something hurtful every now and then, and regret it as soon as you've calmed down?
  15. Trothers: [Admittance]

  16. Romantic: Will you use your body to provide sensual pleasure, and to satisfy each other's needs?
  17. Trothers: [Acceptance]

  18. Cynic: Will you reject your lover's advances because you're not in the mood, roll over and fall asleep after orgasm and be too demanding; wanting to sate your carnal lusts selfishly?
  19. Trothers: [Admittance]
  20. Romantic (to the cynic): You make it sound like it isn't going to be any fun at all.
  21. Cynic (to the romantic): Well you make it sound like it's all going to be beauty and light.
  22. Trothers: We accept and admit all these aspects of our love for each other.

  23. Romantic and Cynic (together): By the power vested in us by the nature of language, human need for ritual and by the goddess Eris we declare you two to be betrothed. You may kiss now and then
Romantic: make love tenderly
Cynic: fuck each other senseless

later.

Trothers (together): Hail Eris!
Romantic and Cynic (together): All Hail Discordia!

[Trothers exit to go and have sex, or whatever else they want to do - in this case, share home-made spinach lasagne with some friends.]